Satire: NCAA Investigates Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off College Admissions Scandal
Posted Mar 18, 2019
The NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. “After the disturbing revelations that massive bribes were being paid out to people other than us, we’re launching an immediate inquiry into how we possibly missed out on this,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert.
(The Onion)
Related: Other News
Darian Mensah unfazed by critics after controversial move from Duke to Miami: 'Why would I worry?'The ACC kicked off its three-day football media days with a banger: its most talented team and reigning national championship runner-up, Miami, parading the league's...
Sun Jul 19, 2026'North Wilkesboro is back': What return of NASCAR points race means to family of track's founder
For the first time in 30 years, a points race is back at North Wilkesboro Speedway — this weekend's Window World 450. Fans are ecstatic...
Sun Jul 19, 2026
ACC looks to corporate sponsorships as a way to boost the bottom line of league revenue
Jim Phillips has spent his five-plus-year tenure as Atlantic Coast Conference commissioner trying to generate more revenue for a league facing financial pressures even with...
Sun Jul 19, 2026
James Franklin set for 2026 after Virginia Tech 'won the offseason'
Virginia Tech made the first significant hire of the coaching cycle with James Franklin, overhauled its financial model and made roster and recruiting upgrades ahead...
Sat Jul 18, 2026