Satire: NCAA Investigates Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off College Admissions Scandal

Posted Mar 18, 2019
The NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. “After the disturbing revelations that massive bribes were being paid out to people other than us, we’re launching an immediate inquiry into how we possibly missed out on this,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert. (The Onion)

Related: Other News

UNC Basketball Transfer Tracker: Puff Johnson eligible at Ohio State; Cadeau, Jackson Updates
On a week Tyler Nickel and Jalen Washington dealt with Vanderbilt’s unbeaten streak ending and Elliot Cadeau and Ian Jackson had contrasting performances, Puff Johnson’s...
Mon Jan 19, 2026

Indiana's storybook season demands media covering Hoosiers shift attention from hoops to football
From all-time losingest power-conference program to No. 1 seed in the CFP, from two All-Americans earlier this century to two this season, from zero bowl...
Mon Jan 19, 2026

Paying players nearly brought down Miami football. Now it has the Hurricanes in a title game.
In an era where college athletes can be compensated for endorsements and even be paid directly by their schools, the University of Miami has turned...
Sun Jan 18, 2026

Duke's million-dollar QB Darian Mensah is entering the transfer portal
Duke quarterback Darian Mensah, who committed to return to the Blue Devils in December, has changed his mind and will enter the transfer portal. Mensah's...
Sun Jan 18, 2026