Satire: NCAA Investigates Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off College Admissions Scandal
Posted Mar 18, 2019
The NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. “After the disturbing revelations that massive bribes were being paid out to people other than us, we’re launching an immediate inquiry into how we possibly missed out on this,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert.
(The Onion)
Related: Other News
Zac Gallen’s wife called him in a panic following incorrect Cubs reportUSA Today baseball columnist Bob Nightengale confused a lot of people in December when he reported the Chicago Cubs were close to signing free-agent pitcher...
Mon Apr 27, 2026Texas Tech QB Brendan Sorsby to enter gambling addiction program
Texas Tech transfer quarterback Brendan Sorsby, one of college football's top returning players, is checking into a residential treatment program for a gambling addiction. Sorsby's...
Mon Apr 27, 2026
College basketball transfer portal winners and losers
The window for college basketball players to enter the transfer portal has closed. Elite programs have offered top players NIL payouts worth millions. All but...
Sun Apr 26, 2026
Goose on the loose: Michael Busch chases off waterfowl at Wrigley Field
Chicago Cubs first baseman Michael Busch isn’t afraid to hit the ball the opposite way, as a goose learned at Wrigley Field Monday. Busch came...
Sun Apr 26, 2026