Satire: NCAA Investigates Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off College Admissions Scandal

Posted Mar 18, 2019
The NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. “After the disturbing revelations that massive bribes were being paid out to people other than us, we’re launching an immediate inquiry into how we possibly missed out on this,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert. (The Onion)

Related: Other News

2026 ACC football predictions: Game-by-game picks, projecting every team's final win-loss record
Projecting the ACC's upcoming 2026 season game-by-game is never as simple as adding up returning starters, factoring in recruiting rankings and then putting an emphasis...
Mon Jul 27, 2026

ESPN’s latest layoffs claim some of its best-known on-air personalities
Once again, ESPN is undergoing notable layoffs. One day after news broke that the network was cutting ties with NFL analyst Ryan Clark, ESPN continued...
Sun Jul 26, 2026

Former UNC Quarterback Max Johnson’s College Football Journey Ends With One Last Shot
Max Johnson’s college football career has been less of a straight line and more of a survival course. The former LSU, Texas A&M, and North...
Sun Jul 26, 2026

Answering the biggest questions about LeBron James and the Philadelphia 76ers
LeBron James, told the Los Angeles Lakers on June 30 that he would be playing elsewhere next season. In nearly a month since announcing his...
Sun Jul 26, 2026