Satire: NCAA Investigates Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off College Admissions Scandal

Posted Mar 18, 2019
The NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. “After the disturbing revelations that massive bribes were being paid out to people other than us, we’re launching an immediate inquiry into how we possibly missed out on this,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert. (The Onion)

Related: Other News

Former Tar Heel legend Jerry Stackhouse emerges as candidate for Chicago Bulls head coach
Anyone remember the 1993-94 and 94-95 North Carolina men's basketball teams? Highlighted by a 1995 Final Four appearance, those Tar Heel squads featured a future...
Wed May 20, 2026

Florida's Todd Golden blasts LSU's Will Wade for recruiting pro players
LSU basketball coach Will Wade is pushing the envelope in recruiting ahead of his first season with the Tigers, arming his program with a roster...
Wed May 20, 2026

Who’s playing where? A cheat sheet on college sports realignment
Realignment among the major college athletic conferences has slowed but there has been plenty of movement elsewhere. The Power Four (ACC, Big Ten, Big 12...
Wed May 20, 2026

NCAA tournament expansion nobody wanted is latest example of college leaders abandoning fans
Every single person who signed off on the decision Thursday to expand the NCAA basketball tournament to 76 teams understands that they are doing something...
Mon May 18, 2026