Satire: NCAA Investigates Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off College Admissions Scandal
Posted Mar 18, 2019
The NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. “After the disturbing revelations that massive bribes were being paid out to people other than us, we’re launching an immediate inquiry into how we possibly missed out on this,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert.
(The Onion)
Related: Other News
All-American RB Ahmad Hardy discharged after shooting, heads back to Missouri to begin recoveryAll-American running back Ahmad Hardy has been discharged from a Mississippi hospital following a shooting, and the Missouri standout is returning to Columbia to begin...
Fri May 15, 2026ESPN, The CW reach ACC sublicense agreement; Raycom Sports continues to produce
The CW will continue to carry ACC football and men’s and women’s basketball. The network announced that it has reached a sublicense agreement with ESPN...
Thu May 14, 2026
ACC’s Jim Phillips says conference is ‘strong’ and ‘healthy’
ACC Commissioner Jim Phillips said the “league is strong” and the “healthiest that we’ve been in my tenure.” Phillips, speaking during the ACC spring meetings...
Thu May 14, 2026
Michael Jordan's ZR-1 has been added to the Corvette Museum
The Corvette Museum has added another legendary vehicle to its collection, a 1993 Chevrolet Corvette ZR-1 40th Anniversary Edition previously owned by "His Airness" himself,...
Wed May 13, 2026