Satire: NCAA Investigates Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off College Admissions Scandal
Posted Mar 18, 2019
The NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. “After the disturbing revelations that massive bribes were being paid out to people other than us, we’re launching an immediate inquiry into how we possibly missed out on this,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert.
(The Onion)
Related: Other News
College basketball transfer portal winners and losersThe window for college basketball players to enter the transfer portal has closed. Elite programs have offered top players NIL payouts worth millions. All but...
Sun Apr 26, 2026Goose on the loose: Michael Busch chases off waterfowl at Wrigley Field
Chicago Cubs first baseman Michael Busch isn’t afraid to hit the ball the opposite way, as a goose learned at Wrigley Field Monday. Busch came...
Sun Apr 26, 2026
UNC basketball’s James Brown transfers to Howard
North Carolina basketball transfer James Brown is headed to Howard University. He gives the reigning MEAC champion a frontcourt addition with Atlantic Coast Conference size...
Sat Apr 25, 2026
College Football Playoff expansion talks left unresolved, debate continues over 16-, 24-team format
The CFP Management Committee continued to weigh multiple potential formats during their annual meetings this week. However, despite openness in the room, no decision was...
Sat Apr 25, 2026