Satire: NCAA Investigates Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off College Admissions Scandal

Posted Mar 18, 2019
The NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. “After the disturbing revelations that massive bribes were being paid out to people other than us, we’re launching an immediate inquiry into how we possibly missed out on this,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert. (The Onion)

Related: Other News

NBA penalizes Clippers, Kawhi Leonard: Winners and losers from investigation
Fines, suspensions, forfeited picks and temporary league banishment. Those were the consequences the NBA came down with following their investigation into the Los Angeles Clippers...
Tue Sep 8, 2026

Wake Forest Sports Hall of Famer Alphonso Smith Passes Away
Wake Forest Athletics mourns the loss of former football standout Alphonso Smith, who passed away on Sept. 2, 2026. A Wake Forest Sports Hall of...
Mon Sep 7, 2026

Candid Coaches: How many games should there be in college basketball's regular season?
This season will see an increase to a maximum of 32 games. The increase to 32 has opened a window for some teams to up...
Mon Sep 7, 2026

College football Week 1 takeaways: Michigan gets a gift, LSU looks title-ready and UMass wins
We've had a couple of days to let Rutgers' loss to UMass marinate and, no, it hasn't gotten easier to comprehend. It's probably more baffling...
Sun Sep 6, 2026