Satire: NCAA Investigates Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off College Admissions Scandal
Posted Mar 18, 2019
The NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. “After the disturbing revelations that massive bribes were being paid out to people other than us, we’re launching an immediate inquiry into how we possibly missed out on this,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert.
(The Onion)
Related: Other News
Sorsby won’t play for Texas Tech after unprecedented legal fight over his eligibility for gamblingTransfer quarterback Brendan Sorsby will not play for the Texas Tech Red Raiders this fall and instead plans to enter the NFL supplemental draft,...
Tue Jun 16, 2026Former UNC soccer player J Batt named new Kentucky athletics director
Kentucky named J Batt its new athletics director, announcing the news Monday. Batt has been Michigan State's AD since June, 2025. Batt earned a bachelor's...
Tue Jun 16, 2026
Knicks fans go insane after first NBA Finals win in 53 years — with jam-packed street party
For New York Knicks fans, the long wait is finally over. A roaring sea of orange and blue crashed across the Big Apple Saturday night,...
Tue Jun 16, 2026
The magic of Omaha: Why the CWS is unlike anything else in sports that's worth the trip
We talk about the "coolest experiences" in college basketball or football, but being in the area as fans converse through the streets around the stadium,...
Mon Jun 15, 2026