Satire: NCAA Investigates Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off College Admissions Scandal

Posted Mar 18, 2019
The NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. “After the disturbing revelations that massive bribes were being paid out to people other than us, we’re launching an immediate inquiry into how we possibly missed out on this,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert. (The Onion)

Related: Other News

NCAA approves landmark age-based eligibility model
The NCAA Division I Cabinet has voted to approve the age-based eligibility model, shifting away from the model that allowed athletes four seasons of competition...
Tue Jun 23, 2026

Who's next at Michigan? Potential candidates to replace Dusty May
For the first time in seven years, a college basketball head coach is leaving to take over an NBA team. Michigan's Dusty May is departing...
Mon Jun 22, 2026

Michigan's Dusty May finalizing deal to coach Dallas Mavericks
Michigan coach Dusty May is finalizing a deal to take the Dallas Mavericks' head coaching job, sources report, a move that significantly alters the college...
Mon Jun 22, 2026

Len Bias: Remembering the person 40 years later
Those of a certain age still feel Len Bias, the symbol. He was a local phenom who grew into the distinction. The hometown kid from...
Mon Jun 22, 2026