Satire: NCAA Investigates Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off College Admissions Scandal

Posted Mar 18, 2019
The NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. “After the disturbing revelations that massive bribes were being paid out to people other than us, we’re launching an immediate inquiry into how we possibly missed out on this,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert. (The Onion)

Related: Other News

NASCAR mourns the loss of Greg Biffle, family in tragic plane crash in North Carolina
Greg Biffle was picked by NASCAR as one of its top 75 drivers in history. But he is perhaps best remembered for his tireless work...
Thu Dec 18, 2025

Is there a place for walk-ons in the future of college sports?
In football, there had been a limit of 85 scholarships, but Division I rosters averaged more than 146 players for the 2024-25 academic year, according...
Thu Dec 18, 2025

Lane Kiffin’s messy departure from Ole Miss shows he has not changed at all
Being an adult means making hard decisions. It also means living with the fallout from those decisions. Lane Kiffin didn’t want to do either. He...
Thu Dec 18, 2025

The College Football Playoff committee isn't perfect, but it's the best system we've got
The purpose of the College Football Playoff selection committee is to sort through the unsortable -- deciding between two teams of similar accomplishment. This sport...
Wed Dec 17, 2025