Satire: NCAA Investigates Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off College Admissions Scandal

Posted Mar 18, 2019
The NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. “After the disturbing revelations that massive bribes were being paid out to people other than us, we’re launching an immediate inquiry into how we possibly missed out on this,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert. (The Onion)

Related: Other News

Why Tommy John's legacy will forever live on across baseball
When Tommy John died Saturday night at 83, the game didn't just mourn the loss of a 288-game winner who threw more innings than all...
Tue Aug 18, 2026

Duke basketball 2026-27 roster breakdown
Currently, Duke doesn't have a player on its roster who is a projected top-three pick in the NBA Draft like Flagg and Boozer were in...
Tue Aug 18, 2026

Ohio State-Miami and what changes you'll see in 2026 college football
Clock rules changes, longer seasons, slower offensive tempo and a surprising factor -- fourth-down success -- have converged to produce longer, slower drives. And in...
Mon Aug 17, 2026

The Amazon AI slop industry is coming for Phil Steele's college football preview
There are probably some uses for AI that are helpful in some capacity, but for many of us, our experience with the big plagiarism computers...
Mon Aug 17, 2026