Satire: NCAA Investigates Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off College Admissions Scandal

Posted Mar 18, 2019
The NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. “After the disturbing revelations that massive bribes were being paid out to people other than us, we’re launching an immediate inquiry into how we possibly missed out on this,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert. (The Onion)

Related: Other News

Philip Rivers top coaching candidate at alma mater NC State
NC State has identified Philip Rivers as its top candidate to be the school's next head football coach. Rivers, who played quarterback at NC State...
Sun Nov 8, 2026

UNC Basketball Transfer Tracker: Zayden High, Ven-Allen Lubin score 20, Jonathan Powell hits 6 3s
Ven-Allen Lubin didn’t miss a shot from the floor, Zayden High scored more points in one game than he did all last season at UNC,...
Tue Nov 3, 2026

Florida State fires football coach Mike Norvell: Top candidates and personnel moves
Florida State football coach Mike Norvell entered this season on the hottest of seats. The September firing of athletic director Michael Alford signaled Norvell would...
Sun Nov 1, 2026

Sources: Philip Rivers in talks about NC State football coaching job
Former NC State quarterback Philip Rivers has engaged in serious discussions about returning to coach his alma mater, though sources have told ESPN that a...
Sat Oct 31, 2026