Satire: NCAA Investigates Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off College Admissions Scandal

Posted Mar 18, 2019
The NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. “After the disturbing revelations that massive bribes were being paid out to people other than us, we’re launching an immediate inquiry into how we possibly missed out on this,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert. (The Onion)

Related: Other News

Candid Coaches: Which college hoops coach will be next to win their first NCAA Tournament title?
Winning even one NCAA crown alters a coach's legacy, some so much that it's the event that can bolster them to eventual Naismith Hall of...
Fri Oct 24, 2025

San Francisco Giants name Tennessee's Tony Vitello as manager in MLB first
Tennessee coach Tony Vitello has been named the new manager of the San Francisco Giants, marking the first time a big league team has hired...
Thu Oct 23, 2025

NBA's Chauncey Billups, Terry Rozier arrested in gambling inquiries
Portland Trail Blazers coach Chauncey Billups and Miami Heat guard Terry Rozier have been arrested as part of a pair of investigations related to illegal...
Thu Oct 23, 2025

Florida State football coach Mike Norvell: 'I know it's not been good enough'
Florida State coach Mike Norvell says he understands that things have “not been good enough” as the Seminoles are mired in a nine-game ACC losing...
Wed Oct 22, 2025