Satire: NCAA Investigates Why It Wasn’t Making Millions Off College Admissions Scandal
Posted Mar 18, 2019
The NCAA announced Monday the launch of an investigation into why it wasn’t making millions off of the recent college admissions controversy. “After the disturbing revelations that massive bribes were being paid out to people other than us, we’re launching an immediate inquiry into how we possibly missed out on this,” said NCAA president Mark Emmert.
(The Onion)
Related: Other News
Way-too-early 2026-27 ACC basketball tiersDuke has won 42 of its last 44 games against Atlantic Coast Conference competition in the last two seasons. That's the type of dominant program...
Wed Jun 10, 2026‘What’s the point?': Brendan Sorsby’s eligibility gambles with college football’s future
It has never cost more to be a sports fan than it does now. Just ask anyone trying to get tickets to Game 3 of...
Wed Jun 10, 2026
NC State investigating LSU over Will Wade’s departure
NC State is investigating whether Louisiana State University improperly persuaded basketball coach Will Wade to break his contract with the Wolfpack to return to the...
Tue Jun 9, 2026
West Virginia baseball sings 'Country Roads' after punching first-ever CWS ticket
"Country Roads, Take Me Home" to ... Omaha? Those aren’t John Denver’s exact lyrics, but they might as well be in Morgantown, with the Mountaineers...
Tue Jun 9, 2026